have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
