No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize