PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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