Rock
Scissors
Fuck
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
