Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
