You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
