I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
