i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
