He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I got her a Nickelback box set.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
