1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
