I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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