I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
