Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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