Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
