he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
