she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize