wat bout pragnant strippers??
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
