I'm sorry my penis didn't work
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
