Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
