At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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