In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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