i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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