do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
