would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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