She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm like, not good at living.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
