from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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