When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
