I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
