You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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