No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
