so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
