I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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