So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
