He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize