Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Sorry my hands just texted you
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
