I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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