what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Sorry my hands just texted you
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
