god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
