Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
