Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
