I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
