p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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