Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
