we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Randomize
