Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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