If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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