sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
