and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
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