But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
