She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
