the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
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