so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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