I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
