OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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