do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
3 2 1 whiskey
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Randomize
