just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
