So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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