Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
