my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
