is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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