I wish I only lived at night.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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