You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
