People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
