he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
