so explain again why im purple
no
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
