Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
