she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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